Friends in photography,
Let’s get off topic and chat about something deep, yet very relevant.
We all got it. Shame was and is my best friend.
At some level it controls us, for better or worse. Knowing the difference is key.
When I finally tackled shame in my life, my life turned around in a huge way, and I started on a fantastic journey.
That my friend was about 26 years ago. There’s more to the story, but for now, let’s stick with a few lists I created for you….namely, symptoms, triggers and cures.
This is universal, see. If you want to improve any part of your life,
you also improve your art, creativity, photography and money.
It’s awesome when you get these things right.
Here we go….starting with the symptoms of shame.
Or, shall I say, toxic shame.
Symptoms of toxic shame:
- people pleasing
- unresolved talents
- doing too much
I know, I know, this is a big list. A birds eye view so to speak. Many of these items can easily be opened up into vast endless sub topics.
Let’s continue, shall we….triggers.
Toxic shame triggers….
- social (other people, events, social situations, and especially social media these days)
- fears (real or not)
- justifying behavior or thoughts (this is like a defense mechanism. We don’t know any better so we rationalize)
This is much more diffuse.
It shows up yet is hard to identify. But it’s like a water hose under pressure.
Eventually the hose will expand and burst. Or we deal with endless pain and pressure. Ugh.
- groups…I luv, luv, luv groups. I believe the ancient tribes had this down with the healing circle
- Nothing triggers shame better than a group, namely, a supportive group with positive intentions. Group coaching,
mastermind groups, group therapy and 12 step meetings are a few examples. Very, scary for many at first, but very healing.
- actions…move, move, move. Take massive actions with whatever you have available in your life right here, right now. All your inner demons and voices will stir to life. Now you can identify them.
- facing fears, dragons….If and when you can identify them, face them down. They ain’t as scary as they seem.
- talents.. work with what you got. Grow your skills and talents, often shame gets triggered.
- never be a victim…ever.
- exercise, yoga, meditation…again….d-uh.
- focus, don’t do too much.
Knowing is never enough. You’ll stay stuck in your head. The key is action. Actions based on your goals.
And looking at your messes…either physical messes or emotional messes.
Even showing up counts as an actions step.
I believe the mastermind meeting is based on this concept as well.
It’s why I’m such a huge believer in them. That, and besides the fact that so many others believe in them, including notables like Napoleon Hill in his classic book Think & Grow Rich…
On that note, tonight we’re having a mastermind meeting….on lighting no less.
Yes lighting. Our main tool of the trade. In our endless pursuit of mastery, as we hone our craft, endlessly studying lighting.
Yours in photography and success,